I remembered the airport under Indonesian occupation swarming with hard-eyed men in combat uniform and officials clicking their fingers impatiently at Timorese who looked tired and harassed.
I felt I was looking at a double exposure. The atmosphere now was calm and all the Timorese were smiling. On the drive from the airport I had seen underfed Timorese walking barefoot in the dust and overfed Indonesians driving recklessly. This time laughing children waved and called out greetings. Even the plants seemed greener than I remembered and when I mentioned this to Timorese friends they agreed that they too thought the vegetation looked more luscious.
The extent of the destruction in Dili has to be seen to be believed; I was reminded of Londoners in the Blitz sitting on all that was left of their houses - their front door-steps. Inscriptions are painted on burnt-out houses (in Tetum):
'Let the owner of this house now come and repair it', and (in Indonesian) 'If your children are hungry, feed them stones', or 'Eat hot bullets if you are starving'.
The biggest surprise was twilight. Where citizens formally went inside and drew the curtains; they now promenade in the streets and sit in their ruined gardens taking great pleasure in talk.
There are as many gripping anecdotes as there are people in this wonderland of freedom. I was told many times how lucky my friends were, but when you hear what they went through, you can't help wondering about the tenuous difference between good and bad luck.
This is a short account of one family's liberation:
With five out of eight children under 11, the parents moved into their new house two months before the referendum. The house had taken them ten years to build and furnish. All that time they lived in a bungalow set halfway down their block.
After the vote went against Indonesia they were ordered at gunpoint to go to the beach where they would be taken by bus to West Timor. They had a car so the father filled it up and made three trips from the house to the beach bringing clothing, utensils and a tent. He hid the car in bush-land and walked to the beach while Dili burned around him. The family was on the beach for two weeks and every day soldiers came to take them away. The father lied. He said he was very keen to leave but wanted to wait for his sons to join him.
Luckily, they were different soldiers each day and the sons were hiding in the tent. All the kids got tummy bugs because they were on the beach with thousands of other people without toilets and only one source of fresh water - a rusty pipe. INTERFET arrived and told them to go to the stadium.
They told me it was even worse there because they didn't have the sea to wash in. After ten days the Indonesians left and they were allowed to return home. The new furniture, washing machine, stove, fridge etc had been taken away by the Indonesian soldiers and yes, their new house was completely destroyed.
All the possessions were gone, but they think they are lucky because the bungalow was intact, all the fruit trees were unharmed and they survived. They lost most of their animals - many dogs, a huge flock of pigeons and their chickens disappeared. The grandparents who were forced to go to West Timor found a way to return to Dili. They are very old and frail and didn't want to even think about how they had survived, let alone talk about it.
Their house was also destroyed and they lost all their possessions. They are now living in what used to be their garage under blue plastic sheeting. They have two chairs a burnt garden and are going to put in some vegetables. I have sent them seeds. I asked if they would have Indonesia back if it meant they could regain their house and possessions.
'No,' they said, 'we haven't heard any shooting since our return and it makes us feel lighter and younger. There was always shooting before.'
On my visit with Mark Davis we found out more in nine days than any western government has found out about the killing of Roger East (another journalist murdered by the Indonesians) and the Balibo Five in a quarter of a century.
Our documentary was shown on SBS in April this year. Thomas Gonalvas a UDT supporter led Yunis Yosfiah and his troops across the border and into an undefended Balibo. He said one journalist came out of the house in Balibo with his hands up; he was followed by three obviously unarmed journalists.
Yunis Yosfiah, who was appointed Information Minister in the Habibe government, shot them down with his machine gun and all his men followed suit. Our informant was told to go away and didn't see what happened to the fifth man, but when he returned five bodies were being burned." | 
